Monthly Archives: March 2005

In Which I Make A Desperate Bid For My Privacy Thanks to the interweb machine, children these days can have their horrific, life-scarring embarassments broadcast and replayed endlessly rather than just having them fade into an alcohol-induced haze like they … Continue reading

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Someone To Watch Over Me**But Not That Guy With The Axe Over There I popped over to Borders to pick up my copy of the April issue of  Bust magazine, which this month features the lovely and talented Amy Sedaris and … Continue reading

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Every Single Poem Ever Written By Emily Dickinson Can Be Sung To Tune Of ‘The Yellow Rose Of Texas’ First off, this story is better than anything I can think of, as it involves both poop and Jennifer Lopez.  In … Continue reading

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It’s Sad AND Funny, Like When A Clown Dies Want to know something ironic?  Karen Carpenter died wearing a jogging suit.

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 I’m Sorry, Pat, But I’m Not Going To Wink At You Unless You Shave Off Your Mustache  I smashed my pinkie in the garbage chute yesterday, so it literally pains me to capitalize, since that’s the finger that should be … Continue reading

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A Greasy Pork Sandwich Served In A Dirty Ashtray I got a Friendster spam today from someone who I imagine is a male prostitute in the Philippines.  He is, sadly, not named Orlando.  I’m not sure if he was perhaps … Continue reading

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We’re businesswomen. We’re due in Tucson later…for a business thing. It isn’t often I get to tell a story that starts this way, but: Once while I was in Belgium I saw Ruby Wax interview OJ Simpson on the television.  … Continue reading

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