About a month back it was DKNY’s birthday, and – along with a computer monitor – one of his friends gave him this amazing bottle of cleaner from (presumably) the 70’s:
It’s magical because it can clean plastic and also inexplicably causes women to lose their pants. I like that she’s all buttoned up on top and then is just wearing pantyhose. It’s sort of like “virgin/whore” only it’s more like “secretary/Angie Dickinson.”
Personally, I like to do all my vacumming in just a pair of panties and some high heels, a la Melanie Griffith’s scene in Working Girl – it doesn’t make me Melanie, though, and it never will.
Below is my favorite dry cleaner in New York. I like to imagine that after blowing up Flatpoint High, Jerri retired to Manhattan to run a dry cleaning shop. No matter how hard she tries, though, when you bring in your clothes they just come back with even more stains.
I found the below book in the trash:
The title just makes me laugh, and then the picture makes me laugh harder because clearly someone has been playing too much World Of Warcraft. If “Revelations” is actually a revelation, why does it need unveiling? Christians sure are stupid!