Joann’s Phoenix Jacket Junction


SNL – Suze Orman

I love that skit – Kristen Wiig is hilaaaaaaaaaarious and spot on.

I have a little shaving mirror in the shower in the bathroom.  Handsome Mister Goats bought it once when he decided he was going to switch from electric shaving to manual shaving.  He eventually switched back, but I retained possession of the mirror.  It started out with three suction cups on the back, two of which have since broken off, and now it clings to the subway tiling in the bathroom with one paltry suction cup, letting loose randomly at any point afterwards with a pants-wettingly loud clattering sound.  (It’s made of metal so it doesn’t break, thank Oprah.) 

You have no idea how startling it can be to be sitting in the living room watching The Sixth Sense and have that frightening jangle burst out from the bathroom that – you thought – was totally unoccupied by anyone, most especially one of the Wahlberg Brothers.   I have no idea what how startling it would be, either, but I imagine it would be quite startling, because it’s extremely jarring if even you’re  just watching people ruin their lives on The Moment Of Truth.   

[Ooh – I just thought of a new slogan for them – “The Moment of Truth: The Game Show Where Everyone Loses!”

So ideally I would take the mirror thing off the wall every morning, but I’ve never remembered to do it…that is I should say, not until today, which is also the first day I’ve gotten up at 7am and spent 30 minutes having a cup of coffee and reading in front of my light box.  Coincidence?

When I got to work, I recalculated my raise and realized that I was taking the difference between my last two checks, but the earlier check was the third check in January so it didn’t have my pre-tax transportation taken out and thus was larger than normal, making my raise look smaller in comparison.  In reality, I’m getting $31 more dollars per two-week pay period, which will pay for my light box in just 3.31 pay periods.  I think I’m going to name it Sunny Von Bulow.

Tonight I’m going over to Brycemaster Bryce’s to play Rock Band on the PS2, so I’m really excited about that – I think it will be fun, especially if I’m not the singer.

Gentle reader BostonMike made some comments yesterday about George W. Bush possibly not being a total idiot, and I would like to respectfully disagree.  Mike pointed out that it’s possible George W. Bush is just a bad public speaker, which makes him appear dumb.  I do think that we must consider the reality that a dumb person can also be a poor public speaker, and therefore will also appear dumb…but that’s another story, never mind, anyway…

I think that George W. Bush isn’t dumb in the traditional sense, and here’s why:  I hope you don’t think I’m bragging when I say that when I was in high school, I was generally considered a really smart, gifted, talented, creative, practically-a-genius fat effeminate faggot who was almost universally hated by the entire student body.  As an almost-genius, I thought I knew just about everything and was even smarter than my parents.  Why, I was so smart I just knew that I was never wrong, that’s how smart I was.  It was really not necessary for me to listen other people very much at all, due to my big faggoty brains. 

And as I learned more and more, and my genius brain absorbed the all the knowledge available to me in the pre-Internet age, I eventually came to the startling realization that I actually wasn’t the smartest person in world after all!  It was possible for me to be wrong, and it was possible for just about anyone to know more about anything than I did, especially if they had studied it their whole lives.  My parents, who probably would have gotten lower ACT scores than mine – just about everyone did – actually still were people that I needed to listen to because they had knowledge gained through experience, something a person can’t get solely from IQ alone.

So I came to the conclusion that there are stupid people, and after that you get average people, and then you get above average people, and then you get this very interesting level of intelligence that is actually completely sub-genius-level but the person isn’t quite smart enough to fully comprehend all that he doesn’t know  – which would be “almost everything,” even if you’re Stephen Hawking – and that subgenius person actually considers himself a total freaking supergenius.  And that’s where I think George W. Bush falls – he might possibly be slightly above average, or even “smart” in some sense, but his belief that he is so smart he doesn’t need to listen to anyone other than himself means that he’s actually a total fucking idiot. 

As proof of my theory, I’d like to point out that we have invaded the country of Iraq accidentally, which I find far more compelling as evidence of stupidity rather than Bushie’s SAT scores being higher than Al Gore. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch that jacket skit again.

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About DavisMcDavis

I'm Davis McDavis. Oprah loves me, this I know, for my TV tells me so.
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3 Responses to Joann’s Phoenix Jacket Junction

  1. Yeah, some quick research confirms what I thought. All objective data indicates Bush is a fairly intelligent man. Subjective research is… well… subjective. You can hate him all you want, and I’m not defending his policies or practices – just saying that the “Bush is dumb” charade is probably just that – a charade. He might be the devil, a jackass, a demagogue, a neo-nazi, or the second coming of Jesus (all up for debate) but he is certainly not -by any stretch of the imagination- a dumb man.Al Gore, on the other hand, is an exceedingly dumb man. I’m pretty sure that can be said objectively based on data that is readily available to all of us. He is a coddled, wealthy Senator’s son who grew up in the Washington DC Ritz (his childhood mailing address) and has little or no grasp on reality whatsoever. As for the election in ’08, good luck with that black.

  2. DavisMcDavis says:

    Personally, I was rooting for that little old white lady, but either one is better than Mister Toad and his shaky grasp of economics and Iran, which we have not yet invaded.

  3. Insane-McCain will probably destroy the whole entire world – I do believe there is a good chance of that. But Hillary/Barrack will only destroy the United States. Thus, Boston Mike for McCain.

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