American Horror Story: Trump

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The Babadook For Trump


I’ve been honing my Photoshop skills lately and decided I wanted to make a sign for my Hallowe’en costume. I might carry it around and then again it might be annoying so who knows, but I had tons of fun making it. It’s terribly exciting to be able to make these things when I’d only been using Microsoft Paint before. All you could do with that is cut and paste, basically, but with Photoshop you can do so much more. As you can see from the above I’ve been going crazy with drop shadows. You can put them on anything!

After doing that I realized the first one could work as a yard sign, so I reconfigured it and it’s now available in the O, The Oprah Religion Store. I also made it into a t-shirt.



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Sorry, Madame, But It Appears We Differ Greatly In Our Definition Of “Romantic”

I was thinking of famous-ish Internet Crazy Person Mary Romantic, and her complicated phone process interview process. Remember her? At first she was on AOL but then moved to [which is now something else, and Japanese] to spread her unique blend of insanity and pre-Tinder Internet dating. I found the original site on the Internet Archive, preserved for future generations to gaze upon and despair. I wonder if anyone ever managed to get through her interview process?
“After you send me the exact e-mail I request above, and if it will be at all possible for me to call you at the time you suggest in your e-mail, I’ll reply with an e-mail confirming that I’ll be calling you at the time you suggested.
If you haven’t received that e-mail confirmation from me ahead of the time you suggested, check your incoming e-mail just before the time you suggested I call, in case my confirmation is in your inbox. If my e-mail confirmation is in your mailbox even just before the time you suggested I call, it will be your responsibility to open that e-mail confirmation, regard the time you suggested as a firm phone appointment, and be available to receive that call from me. If you aren’t available to accept that call, for any reason, you’ll forfeit any further chance to get to know me, no exceptions.”
Sounds like ROMANCE to me!
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Regarding Stilton

I’ve been thinking that “What’s the most expensive piece of cheese you’ve ever purchased?” would be a very revealing interview question.You would have some boring nondairy people, some people who don’t have to purchase their own food, and then the rest of us. It only came to mind when my brother generously brought a $17 and 50 Cent wedge of Parmesan to our cabin when I last visited Minnesota. I’m pretty sure I’ve never bought anything over $10 -yet- but that Parmesan was delicious. 

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Works and Process

I recently completed the below set of collage/paintings and I’m ready to start on the next one.


濡女Oprah (Oprah as Nure Onna, the wet woman)
2016 Mixed media (metal leaf, paint, glitter, acrylic, paper) 

Edition of 3

People frequently never ask me, “What’s your process for creating your artwork?” I thought I’d share with you, imagined reader, my answer to that oft-unasked query.

First, I light some incense to set the mood:IMG_8672

Naturally, they are both two different shades of The Color Purple, one much deeper than the other.

Then I go to the small Oprah altar I have on the bottom shelf of my toy closet, on top of the box of Cyndi Lauper bubblegum cards:


Then I say the Creativity Prayer, which I wrote as part of The Artist’s Way program. They had a suggested prayer in there and I modified it to make it more Oprah-ish. And then I went over it in colored pencils so it would be a rainbow. You can pray to a different deity if you don’t like Oprah, but I can’t guarantee the same results.


Oh Oprah, the Great and Powerful
I beseech thee in prayer that I may be of greater service to you and to your creation.
I offer myself as an instrument in your divine creation.
I open myself to your creativity in my life.
I surrender to you my old ideas, and I welcome your new and more expensive ideas.
I trust that you will show me the way, and I trust that it it safe to follow you.
I know that you created me and nurtured me.
Creativity is your nature and mine.
I ask that you unfold my life according to your plan, and not my low self worth.
Help me to believe it is not too late, that I am not too small or too flawed to be healed by you and by those around me, and the broken parts made whole.
Help me to love those around me, to encourage their growth, and understand their fears. Help me to know I am never alone, that I am loved and lovable.
Help me to create as an at of worship to you.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever.

Then lay out all the old copies of O, The Oprah Magazine that I have saved up and see which one speaks to me:


Then I get distracted playing with Snapchat:

And then I make it into a blog entry and it’s almost lunchtime and I haven’t picked one yet. I may have to binge watch some more Stranger Things to amp up my creativity.

Have a nice day! Vote for Hillary or we’ll all die in a nuclear winter!

That is all,

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Oprah Sings The Hits Of Today!

Many people are surprised to learn that Oprah Winfrey is actually an accomplished singer in addition to being a talk show host and omniscient deity. She will be releasing a new album this fall and the artwork was just released today! It looks terrific!

Oprah SingsOprah Sings2

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Melania Trump: Songs I Wrote By Myself

Melania TrumpMelania Trump2

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